A New Beginning

 Currently 4.24 pm on a late saturday afternoon. I have just finished watching "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty" starring Ben Stiller as a guy who used to have a mundane life but due to saving his job for a missing photograph, he had to get out of his comfort zone, which led to him venturing out in places he never thought he'd visit let alone make an adventure out of. 

The movie just ended and I feel very woke, very open and inspired. I have this sudden urge to write out all the emotions that are going through my body right now. I figured, this might help my english writing skills and typing skills so might as well, therefore here i am, slightly scared and self conscious to post this in public but also that euphoric feeling of not giving a crap is my main driving force right now. 

This movie is one of my absolute favourites of all time, Ben Stiller is amazing in every role he does and in this movie he kills it aswell. The entire atmosphere of the moive and the cinematic direction of the story and the beautiful scenes all together make this an outstanding piece of work, not too cliched nor too crowded with romance but rather a smooth flow of an insightful message that subtley washes over the full duration of the movie. It isn'y my first time watching this movie, infact it's my second time watching it. It triggered this sensation in me that usually stays locked inside, no matter how much i try it doesn't come out- the best analogy i found for this is that "there's something artistic in me that is screaming to get out but is locked in a cage", maybe not the most perfect analogy but it delivers the message im trying to say.

I am stuck in a rutt, I am very confused and lost. I want to feel adventurous and I want to let out that artistic prowess inside of me that i know exists. My passion in life lies in art, in all it's forms but mainly through paintings and sketches. I draw typical things eventhough i want to explore beyond that, i am stuck under the influence of traditional rules and technique, copying from other artists instead of making my own. Worst part is I realize what I'm doing wrong and I know how to fix it, but I just don't have the will power to do so, maybe. I'm decent at art, it's probably the only thing I've ever been decent at. I know I'm missing something and movies like this make me realise that. I see the light but i don't know how to reach it. 

That is enough of me rambling, writing out whatever comes to my head- raw, uncut. Though this is meant to be a personal diary, i would like to share my experiences and thoughts with others and hear their stories aswell.

My name is Farhan Ahmed, currently 17 years old this year, hoping to start anew again to find my purpose, no matter how many tries it takes me. Cheers.